Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Prince Factor

With my new found self realization, came a sense of overwhelming sadness. If I am turning into a Disney Princess that means that I have x amount of time to find my Prince. This depresses me. Why do I have to find a Prince? Isn't it enough that I have kissed numerous frogs who just turned out to be horny toads? All my knights in shining armor were really just retards with tin foil and small (ahem) jousting sticks.
I told the Beast that I loved him and you know what? Still hairy with bad breath. Of course, there was the dumb ass who tried to kiss me when I was choking on an apple, instead of giving me the Heimlich. Nice. Oh and we can't forget the guy who came looking for me because I left a shoe behind at his party. Turns out he was a drag queen and wanted to know where I got them at.
My favorite is of course the time when I traded in my voice to that nasty old bag for a set of legs. Turns out, I should have asked for a nice rack instead. Well, I am truly at a loss because it seems I have pretty much gone through the list and if I go by fairytale time frame, I have exactly 3-5 days to find this dude. Wish me luck or tell that late ass fairy godmother to get on over here.


  1. ROFL! I love it and can't wait to keep reading. Reminds me of the twisted fairy tales from rocky and bullwinkle. :)


  2. Why thank you darling! I will try to keep my happy-go-lucky sense of hopefulness!