Monday, September 6, 2010

The King's Verdict

Today I was granted audience with my father, the King. No, he is not King of the Trailer Park..that is my own kingdom...mine all mine. He is more like a wise old shaman/king/leader of our small village tribe from which I hail. We were discussing the future.

 Thus my father sayeth unto me, "I doest not see thee becoming married, child."
 In surprise, I answered, "Why Father, whatever do you mean?!?!?" 
"My darling daughter, thou art 32, soon to be 33. This is past the marriageable age and I am wrought with sorrow, that thine prince will ne'er come."

Actually, we don't really talk like that. It just was kinda fun to write it that way. But, he DID say that he did not see me ever getting married because I was going to be 33 soon. I told him that it was still possible and he said, "Maybe, but prolly not." WOW.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad. I didn't realize that I had become so haggardly and undesirable. I realize that I was on a Princess deadline, but didn't realize that according to my father my ticket expired already.

Well, thank God for tequila. I figure if I drink enough I could probably embalm myself. That way I can extend my expiration date. Or at the very least....get effed up enough that I don't care.  I almost miss my evil stepmother...

Anyways it is about margarita o'clock. This princess needs a pick me up...


  1. This is hilarious! Keep up the good work.

  2. Ill be 33 in December.

    Wait... does that mean I'm fucked too?

  3. You are a guy...guys (unfairly enough) have a longer "best if used before" date apparently...